Bikini Fear

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I used to be afraid of bikinis.  I thought they were just for women with perfect bodies.  So I wore a one piece swimsuit until I was in my late twenties - it makes me sad to think of the fab body I had when I was 19 that I never showed off!

Oh yes I flirted with the tankini - I was very adventurous, but a decent one of these is even harder to find than a good bikini!

It was only when I realised that I might be donating a kidney that I went out and got a bikini - as they say, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone (or about to go!)

I had just about braved the bikini when I had my operation and ended up with a great big scar around my waist - so out went the 2 bikinis I owned and that was that!

...until I was lying on the beach in Sardinia with my Irish friend Orla, aged 33, sweating in our swimsuits and we looked around the beach.  Every single woman was in a bikini - yes 70 year old Italian women in leopard print skimpies, cellulite hanging out for all to see, and you know what?  They looked great!  We were the ones who felt conspicuous and really, really unsexy.

So we turned to each other and made a pact - no more swimsuits - who cares about scars and stretch marks - bikinis just look so much better and they make you feel like Ursula Andress (who cares if you really look like her!) And that was that!

Now, the only time I wear a swimsuit is for doing lengths in the pool - if there is sunshine I will be in a bikini, because, and this is the big thing, the best thing for me about lying in the sun is feeling it on my tummy (it’s been deprived on sunshine for soooo long!)

And they are also so much easier to wear under your clothes, you can even rock the bikini top and shorts look if it’s not quite warm enough for you.  You can become a beach goddess in seconds without having to manoeuvre a swimsuit when you need the loo.  And I promise you they feel better in a spa too.

So when I am 70, I promise you this, I will still be hanging out in (or indeed out of) my sexy bikini and pretending I am a Bond girl (even if I have to go to Italy to do it!)


Me reclining on a beach, in my bikini, watching the waves roll in.